When conflict arises, what do you do?  How do you handle it? I would love to say that I handle things the way God instructs us.  It seems lately however that conflict has risen its ugly head.  A lot of Christians think we will be free of conflict and controversy, but if you are following God’s plan for your life, you will face such things.

One morning last week I was reminded that in the midst of conflict, I can handle things God’s way or mine. This involves swallowing my pride, which is pretty hard to do, but as a follower of Christ “pride goes before a fall”.  Do you want to fall? I know that I don’t, but that morning I came very close.  I knew that I had been wronged but also knew that going in and demanding my way, would not make the situation better.   As I was on my way home after the confrontation, I was still hurt and angry, and  I knew that because I didn’t handle myself like I should, the conflict between us wasn’t over.  I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice so I began to pray and ask God to show me what I am suppose to do the next time.   While in the middle of my prayer, What A Beautiful Name by Hillsong, started to play on the radio and I began to worship Him right there in my car.  My car has become my place of worship many times.  As I worshipped, my mind was taken off of my hurt, and the anger began to leave me.  Did it make the conflict go away?  No, but I was in a frame of mind that God could start to change my heart and I could learn how to handle this in the future.

Proverbs 16:7 says When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Do you want peace with your enemies?  I know I do.  If that’s the case we need to be pleasing the Lord.  There are 4 ways that scripture teaches how to handle conflict or controversy.

In 2 Timothy 2:23-26 Paul must have heard that Timothy was having to deal with conflict and controversy because he writes to him:  Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.  He goes on to tell Timothy, And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but:

1) be kind to everyone.  Was I kind to my tormentor?  No, I wasn’t?  I was rude and brash.  Accusing without saying it outright.  As women, we are good at doing this.  One lift of the eye brow or a different tone in our voice says it all.  Kindness is a Fruit of the Spirit and we should be practicing it everyday.  If we can be kind to a stranger, then with the Holy Spirit’s help we can be kind to our enemy.  Proverbs 21:21 tells us Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.   Show a little kindness today to those who don’t deserve it.  

 2) be able to teach. Paul told Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.  It is difficult to see how teaching could diffuse the situation.  This isn’t how the world deals with conflict but as Christians we should always be ready to teach so that when we find ourselves on the verge of a quarrel, we can rebuke with complete patience.   The only way we can be ready to teach is by studying the Word of God.

 3) patiently enduring evil.  Romans 5:3-4 tells us: …. but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.  Patiently enduring is a really tough thing to do, but I know that it is building my character and it is producing hope in me and we all need hope.  A hope of reconciliation and a hope that overcomes all evil.

4) correcting opponents with gentleness.  When you think of correcting someone, is it with gentleness?  If you are like me, you have to point out they are wrong and that they may actually suffer from some idiocy.  I know that’s not very nice and I really try, but I do deal with pride and that is something that God is working out in me.  Gentleness means the quality of being kind, tender or mild-mannered.  When you think of your favorite teacher, is it the one who berated you in front of the class or was it the teacher who patiently and tenderly took their time instructing you so that you would understand?

In my first 6 weeks of Algebra Trig class, we had a teacher that would make fun of you if you raised your hand.  She made me feel like I was an idiot and even dreaded coming to class.  One day we were told she wouldn’t be back and in walks Mrs. Dargan.  She was kind, understanding and patient with us and because of her gentle instruction I went on to love Algebra and even graduated from college with a Math degree.

God is reminding me of those times in my life when He showed me great grace.  If I am His child, then I need to be pleasing to Him.  Paul didn’t end there, in 2 Timothy 2:26 it says, God may perhaps grant them (our opponent) repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.  This brings me great hope, not that I can bring someone to Christ only the Holy Spirit can do that, but by pleasing God it can pave the way for God’s redeeming work in them.

My friend, I hope that as you face your opponent during times of conflict or controversy that you remember to be Pleasing to the Lord!!  I don’t have it all together yet, but by His grace and mercy I am being changed everyday.  Have a blessed week and if this has blessed you in some way, I would love to hear from you!!