Proverbs 13:12 tells us, Hope Deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

Have you ever been so disappointed that it caused you deep sorrow?  I have experienced disappointment in: myself, my family, my job and even God, but this was different. I had never felt this depth of disappointment until this past week.   Scripture tells us to capture every thought but I was filling my day and my thoughts with other things to get my mind off of the disappointment.  It was like I was standing in the ocean and waves of despair were crashing into me and causing me to be tossed about. There seemed to be no hope!!  It wasn’t until I began to really pray and cry out to Jesus, and ask the question, “What are you teaching me in all of this?  What am I suppose to learn?”

After all the turmoil and questions, there was a quiet moment when I heard a whisper,  “You are not alone.”   In that moment I realized that Jesus had experienced deep sorrow and so much more. Who was I to think that my sorrow and pain were greater than His?  I began to understand!!  I am not guaranteed less than what He went through.  If I am a Child of God and  I have been crucified with Christ, as scripture tells me, then I have to start taking my eyes off of the disappointment and focus on Jesus.

It was then I was reminded of the scripture in Proverbs about hope deferred. Do you know that the definition of disappointment is a feeling of sadness caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations?  That is hope deferred and that was what I was feeling.  Scripture goes on to say that hope deferred makes the heart sick.  My heart was sick because of the longings that hadn’t been fulfilled and for things I thought I deserved.  The Proverb doesn’t end there, it says, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.  Desire means a longing for, or that thing that would delight you!!

Psalm 37:4 says, Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Did you get that?!  Delight myself in the Lord, long for the Lord, these were the things I needed to be reminded of. Delight in the Hebrew means to be soft and pliable.  I hadn’t been either of these.  I was not in a position that God could complete His work inside of me, where His desires became my desires.  I couldn’t reach the tree of life status where I was alive, fresh and strong.  That is where God wanted me!!  He wanted to remind me He is my source of strength, He makes me alive, He refreshes my soul!!  He and He alone!!  No person, no thing can give me what He can.  He IS the Tree of Life!!

I am thankful that God allowed me to experience this disappointment. It wasn’t fun and unfortunately my husband was caught in the middle.  Thank God that he loves me because without his love and support, life wouldn’t be the same.  My prayer for you is when life brings disappointment, begin to delight yourself in the Lord. Then, and only then, will the sickness in your heart begin to fade away and will be replaced with a strong, alive and fresh heart.  May God Bless you this week and may your heart be filled with God’s desire for you!!